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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28640946">Original Personality</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Dream Team DID System [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alters, BadBoyHalo is a Good Friend, Clay | Dream Has ADHD (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream has DID, Clay | Dream is a Good Friend, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dream Team as Family, Gen, Original Personality, PTSD, Switching, System Relationships, System Roles, The Dream Team System, Tommy is in this for like two second at the beginning, Trauma, as a DID concept/identifier, fronting, hes mainly used to set up plot, past poor mental health treatment, so dont expect much from him lol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:35:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,272</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28640946</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The DID concept of an original personality is that there first existed a personality that shattered and fractured into millions of pieces, forming alters. But the Dream Team didn't fall apart in pieces, they formed separately and then came together to work as a system. So why is Clay considered the original personality if such a thing doesn't exist?</p><p>-</p><p>Or: The Dream Team is a DID system. Three of the alters try to navigate their diagnosis and outdated theories.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; Darryl Noveschosch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Dream Team DID System [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2078016</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>466</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Original Personality</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW: Pressure to integrate, Discussion of the topic of trauma, ptsd, and did, past poor mental health treatment</p><p>Also, this is set a lot later in the series so Tommy knows about the system at this point.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Okay wait, I don’t understand the original personality thing,” Tommy cuts in.</p><p>“It’s pretty much how it sounds,” Bad explains, patient as always. “The idea is that Clay was the original personality and then others were created due to trauma.”</p><p>“But like, I thought the whole point of DID is that alters could form because the child who went through trauma hadn’t created a fully formed personality yet. So how could Clay be the original personality if there was no formed personality? Was he just the first alter then?”</p><p>Bad pauses, frozen as he considers Tommy’s words. Everything Tommy has said is true. Tommy’s not always the most sensitive of people, but he genuinely cares and Bad knows he’s doing his best to learn about the system and support them now that he knows. Bad thinks of him fondly.</p><p>“Uh- sorry,” Tommy says, “If I said something, I didn’t mean to.”</p><p>“No, it’s okay,” Bad soothes, “I just- hadn’t thought about that really.”</p><p>What Tommy says makes sense and Bad can’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. That night, after he puts the littles to bed, he walks to Al’s house, a small thing at the corner of the street.</p><p>“Al?” Bad asks, knocking on the door.</p><p>Al pops open the door, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>“Bad,” he greets, and gestures inside.</p><p>Bad has always liked Al’s house. The small size has made it seem homey, even though Al insists that it's the way it is because it’s the bare minimum he can get away with. It used to be not decorated at all, but over the years Bad’s put up photos and a few items to give it more life.</p><p>He catches Al’s cat Inky slink away in the background and gives a small smile.</p><p>“Did you want the front?” Al says, “Taken has it right now.”</p><p>“Oh, no,” Bad says, “I just- well I had a question.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Al replies.</p><p>“How is Clay the original personality.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Al asks, giving a frown, “Clay came first.”</p><p>“Well, yeah, I mean as far as we know, sure. But well- Tommy said something the other day that had me thinking…”</p><p>“Bad,” Al says, “I’m not the person to ask about this. Especially if Tommy is involved.”</p><p>“What’s wrong with Tommy?” Bad protests, “He’s a sweet kid.”</p><p>“A sweet kid who makes my job miserable,” Al grumbles, “He’s somehow able to trigger literally everyone in the system out so easily. I don’t know how he does it. Most of them aren’t even triggers we normally have, Tommy just has that ability.”</p><p>It’s true. Tommy has an uncanny ability to trigger alters in the system out without meaning to in a variety of situations. It’s weird how it works, but it’s not Bad’s concern and he doesn’t mind spending time with Tommy, so he’ll leave that for Al to deal with.</p><p>“Okay, well then forget Tommy,” Bad dismisses, “Why can’t I ask you?”</p><p>“Bad I spend all my time as the stop between the inner world and the front, I’m not a memory holder, and out of all of us I’ve talked to our doctors and therapists the least. I am not the person to ask about this.”</p><p>Bad frowns, putting on a pout to intentionally get a reaction. Al doesn’t give him anything.</p><p>“Alright,” Bad sighs, “I’ll ask someone else.”</p><p>“Dream would probably be your best bet,” Al advises, “Or Clay himself.”</p><p>Bad nods, and turns to leave.</p><p>“Thanks,” he says, before leaving, “Not for- well I mean you didn’t answer my question,” Bad admits. “But thanks for being you Al, I appreciate you.”</p><p>“Anytime,” Al says, “It’s-”</p><p>Al pauses, seemingly lost for words. Bad has never seen him like this. Al, while pausing to choose his words carefully on occasion, has never actually lost them.</p><p>“It’s been good talking,” Al says, “I’ve enjoyed our time together.”</p><p>“Okay?” Bad says, raising an eyebrow and squinting his eyes in slight suspicion at Al’s odd words. But Al just stares back and Bad lets it go.</p><p>He goes searching for Dream next, walking down the road and turning right until it transforms into their childhood street, leading towards the home Dream grew up in. Bad pushes his way inside, and over to Dream’s room, giving a quick knock on the door.</p><p>"Come in!" he calls.</p><p>Bad pushes the door open and greets him brightly, stepping into the room as Dream turns from his desk to face him.</p><p>"Oh, hey Bad," Dream says. "What's up?"</p><p>"I had a question," he admits.</p><p>"Okay, hit me," Dream says he shifts in his chair and grabs a fidget cube from his desk. He crosses his legs and stims with the cube as he watches Bad. Bad decides to just go for it.</p><p>"How is Clay the original personality?"</p><p>"What do you mean?" Dream asks.</p><p>"Well- the point of DID is that alters can form because a single, permanent personality has yet to have been established, right?"</p><p>"Yeah," Dream agrees, raising an eyebrow as he continues to fiddle with the cube.</p><p>"Right," Bad says, "So how can Clay be the original personality when the entire point of DID is that there was no original core personality."</p><p>Dream blinks at him and sets the fidget cube back on his desk. He stares a bit.</p><p>"But-" Dream starts, before falling silent, "but…"</p><p>Bad waits.</p><p>"Clay is- I mean he's Clay," Dream says, "He holds- well I guess he doesn't anymore- but he held the oldest memories. He's- his name is Clay, the name that was given to this body. He matches the body. He's- that's-"</p><p>‘That makes him the core,’ is what Bad has always thought, and he knows Dream thinks it too. But neither of them say it, because Bad isn't sure if that's right anymore.</p><p>"Okay," Bad says, "so he holds the oldest memories. Technically that's young Clay now, but… let's give him that. Our disorder literally deals with the loss of certain memories.</p><p>"So," Bad continues, "he matches the body, both name and looks. That's fair, but again, has nothing to do with personality or formation. He’s- I get all the reasons why Clay should be the original personality," Bad agrees.</p><p>"He and you front the most," he begins to list off, "He's co-host, he's been around the longest, he ages at the same rate as the body, he looks like the body, and he shares the body's given name, family, etc."</p><p>"Exactly," Dream agrees.</p><p>"And none of those things have to do with personality, with the formation of alters and the action of splitting," Bad points out, "There’s- how can there be an original personality if one never formed?"</p><p>Dream blinks.</p><p>"Clay… Clay isn't the original personality," Dream realizes, "He’s- we don't have an original personality. Clay's- Clay just- he’s-"</p><p>"He was first," Bad says, "That we know of. And he- he meets the expectations of people around us, with the way the body looks, the name… It makes sense that he would form. It’s what the system needed at the time, and alters form from a need."</p><p>"We don't have an original personality," Dream repeats.</p><p>Bad nods.</p><p>The realization sits between them, the heavy weight of it barely being held.</p><p>"We need to share this," Dream insists, "Clay deserves to know- the whole system. We have to tell everyone."</p><p>Dream gets up immediately, as if he's going to sprint out of his room and share the news with the world.</p><p>"Wait a second," Bad says, pausing Dream in his impulsivity, "let's think about this."</p><p>Dream grins at him sheepishly, knowing he's been caught on his quick decision.</p><p>"Why is this important?" Bad asks.</p><p>"What do you mean?" Dream asks, "Of course it's important."</p><p>"I agree," Bad says, "But why?"</p><p>It’s something Clay’s parent’s used to ask Dream when he’d make decisions without thinking, often landing himself in trouble. To this day it’s still one of the things Dream falls back on when the impulsivity of ADHD catches up to him.</p><p>Dream sits back down, tapping his foot on the floor as he thinks.</p><p>"It's- well I mean... It's important to the system. It's furthering knowledge, understanding, to how all of this works," Dream says.</p><p>Bad smiles and gives a small nod in agreement. Dream slightly preens at the approval, always having been a perfectionist that was constantly seeking validation.</p><p>"I also think it's good for our self understanding," Bad agrees, "It's- the idea of an original personality-”</p><p>“Is kinda prioritized?” Dream cuts in, “Made to seem like they’re the most valid or important member in the system?”</p><p>Bad hesitates.</p><p>“Clay’s not-”</p><p>“I know,” Dream is quick to clarify, “No, I know, Clay’s great. But uh, remember when he woke up, and out psychiatrist said…”</p><p>“Dream,” Bad chuckles, “I wasn’t around back then.”</p><p>“Oh right,” Dream says, offering a sheepish smile. It’s intentionally goofy, plastered on to distract. It’s easy for Bad to catch, because it’s something Luc has slowly learned to take on from Dream. Bad hates seeing it on both of his boys.</p><p>“What did the psychiatrist say?” Bad asks, softening his voice.</p><p>Dream hesitates.</p><p>Dream never hesitates, it’s not like him.</p><p>Dream is hyperactive, a result of having ADHD and just being who he is. He leaps first, ask questions later. He gets himself in all sorts of silly trouble from not considering things fully, but he’s also the one that’s gone on the most adventures, the ones that’s had the most experiences.</p><p>Bad admires how loose Dream can be, how bold, how striking.</p><p>This isn’t that.</p><p>Bad takes a seat on Dream’s bed, and offers out a hand.</p><p>Dream looks at it for a moment, before dropping his own into it. Bad takes it softly, moving his thumb so it rests on the back of Dream’s head, and begins to rub small, soothing circles.</p><p>“When- when we realized that Clay was back, and that he was Clay and that- well that he was the original personality, our psychiatrist decided he should be the host.”</p><p>Bad frowns and tilts his head slightly, features slightly exaggerated even though it feels like ice is rolling down his back.</p><p>Dream can’t mean what Bad thinks he does-</p><p>“It was- well he said that I only got to be the host because Clay couldn’t. But now, now that Clay was back I had to give that up.”</p><p>“He told you not to host anymore,” Bad realizes, “That Clay should be the sole host.”</p><p>“No,” Dream admits, and Bad has a small inkling of hope. “No, he told me to integrate.”</p><p>The feeling of ice running down Bad’s back stops. Instead it seems to cling in place, freezing to his spine.</p><p>“That’s, that’s not how integration works,” Bad protests.</p><p>Dream gives a weak smile.</p><p>“I know that now,” he says, “But I didn’t then- I mean we hadn’t even been diagnosed for that long. And our team- our psychiatrist now, our therapist now, they’re not like that.”</p><p>Bad nods in agreement.</p><p>“Really I should have thought about the original personality thing earlier,” he confesses, “It was another- I mean, it’s like with the pressure to consolidate down to as few alters as possible. Which isn’t wrong! Every system is different. But the assumption that like, the best thing for a system is to get them as close to a singlet as possible,” Dream vents.</p><p>“You sound like Clay,” Bad says.</p><p>Dream gives a small chuckle at that.</p><p>“Want to talk to him together?” Bad asks. “We can approach it slow, figure out what this means.”</p><p>Dream’s face drops.</p><p>“We need to tell him,” he agrees, “But I don’t- I don’t want him to think we're saying he’s less important or something.”</p><p>“All we can do is our best,” Bad says, “We’ll make sure we approach the conversation that way, and do our best to support him if he does feel that way, but we can't control his emotions.”</p><p>Dream nods, considering the words.</p><p>“Okay,” he says, “Okay let’s go.”</p><p>Together, they stand, and go to meet up with Clay.</p><p>It’s not hard, considering he seemed to be on his way towards Dream anyways.</p><p>“Oh, hey,” Clay says, "I was looking for you."</p><p>Dream perks up.</p><p>"Same here actually," he admits, "we need to talk about some things."</p><p>Clay immediately tenses, and Bad closely matches the faint trembling in his hands at the words.</p><p>"It's nothing bad," he soothes, "Dream and I were just figuring some things out about the system and wanted to share with you. It'll hopefully help all of us."</p><p>Bad’s words work to capture his interest, and Clay's shoulders relax. Clay’s always loved learning, and knowledge has always been one of the quickest ways to calm him down (and rile him up).</p><p>"Oh. Okay," he says, "What's up?"</p><p>"Let's go find somewhere to talk," Bad suggests, and leads them back on the way to his own house. For a long time, it hadn't had any sort of solid shape, but with the build Skeppy and Bad had done on the SMP, the house seemed to solidify.</p><p>The littles, who had always stayed with Bad, seemed to love the new mansion. It would also give Bad, Dream, and Clay plenty of room to talk.</p><p>They arrive shortly, all taking seats in the main living room and Bad gestures to Dream to start the topic.</p><p>"We don't think you're the core personality," Dream blurts out.</p><p>Clay's eyes immediately go wide as he stutters out, "What?"</p><p>Bad sighs.</p><p>"What Dream means," Bad cuts in, "is that we think there's no such thing as an original personality because of how DID forms. That isn't to say your existence and life are any less valid."</p><p>Bad's worried Clay will take it the wrong way, and with Dream’s crashing start he knows it may go that way. It's not exactly an easy topic to discuss.</p><p>Bad hopes by laying all the facts out and leaving with a theory will keep Clay interested.</p><p>Clay's always been curious, an intellect who wants to discover. Bad wouldn't be surprised if they were able to momentarily distract his fears with interest in some fundamentals of their diagnosis.</p><p>"Okay," Clay says, voice even, "explain?"</p><p>So they do. And well, there's not really a lot to explain because this is all still just a theory. It makes sense but…</p><p>"Have either of you done any research on this?" Clay asks.</p><p>"No," they both admit.</p><p>"Okay," Clay says, "okay. Then that's what I'm going to do."</p><p>It's such a Clay thing to say, wanting to gain the most knowledge before making any answer.</p><p>"Clay," Dream speaks up, before hesitating. Clay and Bad both look over at him, watching as he fidgets, strangely quiet. "Uh- it's- you're- this doesn't make you any less important, you know that, right?"</p><p>Clay's face softens instantly.</p><p>"Of course," he agrees, "I know that. Now. I know that now."</p><p>Dream gives a weak smile and a nod, mouth opening before closing again.</p><p>"I'm going to check on Luc and X," Bad says. He gives them both goodbyes and leaves the room, allowing them space to talk.</p><p>Bad knows their relationship is different. Bad has never hosted, has never wanted to be host. He's there to watch over the system, not to live through daily life, and that's fine by him.</p><p>The connection the co-host’s of the system have is deep, but it hasn't always been that way. They worked hard to get to the point they’re at. Bad’s more than willing to give them the space they need to wrestle with this new revelation and the past memories that come with it.</p><p>He leaves the topic, letting the two of them work it out, and it's over a week later when Clay peeks into the front, calling out to him.</p><p>'Hey, Bad?' Clay calls. 'Can we talk when you get a chance?'</p><p>'Is there someone I can switch out with?' he asks.</p><p>'I can go find someone,' Al butts in.</p><p>'I'm on a call with Sapnap, George, Bad, and Ant,’ Bad informs them both.</p><p>'Is Luc around?' he then asks, 'He's been begging to talk with George and Ant again.'</p><p>'I'll see,' Al says, slipping away to see if he can find Luc and bring him to the front.</p><p>'Give me a second,' Bad tells Clay. Clay nods, backing up slightly to give Bad room, but not quite leaving.</p><p>"Hey," Bad speaks up verbally. It feels odd, and he recognizes the familiar heavy feeling of dissociation. "I'm… I'm… uh, I'm going to switch out. With Luc I think. If… if we can."</p><p>He gets affirmatives and Bad hums and does his best to slowly sink away from the body. To let it go, to detach from it.</p><p>It's not always easy for him, he gets scared sometimes that the body will get hurt during a switch and it often causes him to cling to the body even harder in concern.</p><p>Al helps, guiding him back in as he pushes Luc forward. Even so, it's a slow switch and it has Bad blinking heavily as he rejoins the inner world.</p><p>He shakes his head in an attempt to clear it.</p><p>"What's up?" he asks Clay, who's giving him plenty of space.</p><p>"Al?" he calls out, "You have Luc, you can watch him?"</p><p>"Yes," Al confirms, voice coming from some echoing distance.</p><p>Bad sighs, giving a nod, and turns his attention back to Clay.</p><p>"Dream and I were hoping we could talk to you about the original personality thing," Clay prefaces, starting down the main path.</p><p>Bad follows with a nod.</p><p>"Is Raven still watching X?" he asks.</p><p>"She had to do something," Clay says, "Dream is actually babysitting right now, but he was going to ask Forrest so we could talk."</p><p>Bad nods and they meet Dream who's leaving the house Bad lives at with the littles.</p><p>"Hey," he greets them, "So… talking time?"</p><p>Clay nods.</p><p>"We've decided we don't have an original personality," Dream says, diving right into it. "Clay's just the oldest known alter."</p><p>"Hmm," Bad says, with a light grin, "Pretty sure I'm older than both of you actually."</p><p>"Not age years," Dream groans, "existence years."</p><p>"-and what Dream means by that," Clay cuts in, "Is that we- well mostly I- did some research. And well, a lot about DID is still unknown and debated and stuff. The idea of an original personality is currently debated, though it seems like more and more systems are preferring to not use it. Obviously we can't speak for all systems, but in our case- in my case- the idea of an original personality doesn't fit. It doesn’t exist in our system."</p><p>"Okay," Bad says. "Alright. Are we- is this okay?"</p><p>Dream and Clay look at each other.</p><p>"Yeah," Clay says, "Yeah I think it's- Dream and I talked about y'know, some of the- well when I first woke up, some of what happened. It was- I think this is going to be a good thing for us."</p><p>Bad's chest swells with pride. He beams at them.</p><p>"I'm so proud of you both," he tells them. They give twin sheepish smiles. Tears start to prick in the corner of Bad's eyes.</p><p>"Can I give you two hugs?" he asks.</p><p>They both consent and Bad sweeps them up into a tight grip, holding them close together. Dream and Clay almost instantly relax into the embrace and Bad is so proud of how they're all handling this. He loves his systemmates so much.</p><p>They've come so far, and he knows together they’ll only go farther.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a quick reminder that there is no one way to have DID. System's experiences vary greatly, and what works for one system might not work for another. Respect the diversity that exists within the diagnosis.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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